The carpet chaos

If anyone walked into my house right now they would think that I had been burgled such is the mess in almost every room in my house. Why? Because I am having new carpets laid next week.

I lived in a big house prior to the one I own now and I can outdo any squirrel when it comes to hoarding. Every bookshelf is not only packed with books but also my precious ornaments, which I can’t bring myself either to sell or give away.

Having decided to have carpets in the living room, stairs and the landings I did cast an eye over my possession and thought that it would be hard for the chaps to come and lay the carpets. Indeed one fitter did come and when I led him into the living room he paled, took a few measurements and told me that he had seen worst and disappeared into the ether never to be seen again.

This time I found a wonderful firm run by Father and Son and only selling British made carpets. I think that the Father, when he came around to measure did blanch a bit but carried on regardless. So regardless that he stepped on one of my pictures and the glass broke. He was covered with confusion and apologised profusely until I confessed that I had bought them for the princely sum of £1.50 at a car boot sale and so it didn’t matter.

The son then came and took the doors off their hinges to cut them so that the new carpet and the underlay could fit smugly underneath when either of them opened. The planning of the doors took place outside so hurray no dust. However he had to cut the ghastly old carpet and when he had finished neatly taped them back in place leaving crescent shaped marks. Ah well we can’t have it all.

So at the moment I am waiting for someone from my local charity shop to come and take away a double bed. I am having a single one delivered to kit out my spare room. However this is going to be a logistical nightmare. I have to wait until the bed is taken away and clean the room before the carpets actually arrive.

Once more it is juggling bits and pieces. The kitchen is full up and I can hardly push my way into my bedroom which is all worked around my three hat boxes. Other than that every surface is full but it is vital that the hats remain unscathed because I shall finally have to choose one of them for wearing to my daughter’s wedding. I realise that three hats is a bit excessive however I will wear the other two sometime I am sure.

On to the glass cabinet in the living room. Oh how I wish I had a washing-up machine, I have about thirty glasses and decanters which all need a quick clean before going back into place. It is no good I shall have to sacrifice the bathroom, obviously I shall have to leave the loo and bath clear but other than that it will be fine. Although I am sure the bath can remain unused for a couple of days otherwise I shall have to go round to my Cousin’s house and do my ablutions there.

I am now ensconced in my bedroom which is the only place that I can move! Most of my furniture is either in the garden or the kitchen and hall. I can just about squeeze past it all and make for the stairs which are blissfully clear of any ornaments in their many boxes.

I have showed my chaps the vital wires that must not be touched otherwise I be without a computer or television. I can easily do without the telly but my computer I can’t live without. I do my internet banking online and many other  important things like my electricity and gas which are all paid online.

Oh and my Television license and Insurance Policy. I could go on but suffice it to say that I, and many others depend on our computers. I am told I have to give the carpet chaps two cheques – I am not sure how to write them anymore. Curse the day that technology has become a big part of our lives.

Anyhow I am off to have a large glass of wine, I think deserve it!

Jane Buckle