Hello there, I live in New Zealand and read an article in our weekly International Express newspaper regarding the derogatory comments towards elderly people made by Jeremy Paxman. After I calmed down I wrote this poem by way of a ‘letter’.
Dear Mr. Paxman,
Don’t think you’ll be immune
To the ravages of age.
The longer you live the more you’ll wear out.
Don’t bother to rant and rage.
Cars won’t last forever
Nor cut flowers nor a pet.
Nor will older people
Who will get older yet.
Don’t berate and abuse them,
They know an awful lot.
They just can’t do handstands and cartwheels now
Or jump up and down on the spot.
All of them were young once
And full of the joys of life
But age is a silent stalker
That will cut you like a knife.
When they poo, unbidden,
Or their bladders are too weak
Or they lose their senses one by one
Until they cannot speak….
….Don’t sneer at them, Mr. Paxman
Or keep them at arms length.
Don’t turn your nose up at them
Or hold them in contempt.
You’re no spring chicken yourself, Mr. P
You, too, heading for the door
marked ‘Corpses This Way’. Shuffle if you must
But please don’t pee on the floor.
Old Age is the penalty of Time
So think of this, Mr. Paxman:
None of us get out alive.
It is the final Tax Man.
So make them happy, Jeremy.
They will, one and all, be chuffed
If you live up to your nickname
And get well and truly stuffed.
Yours disgustedly,
Sue Nelson, NZ
