The woes of ageing

The woes of ageing

As the hen said “Growing old is no yolk”.

You know when you’re growing old when every part of the body hurts, and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work. The gleam in your right eye is only the sunlight hitting your bifocals. You feel like the morning after, but you haven’t been anywhere.

Your little black book only contains names beginning with Dr. and you get out of breath just playing cards.

You enter a garden maze but can’t remember if you went in to cut flowers or to find your way out. Your children begin to look old.

A “dripping tap” gives you an uncontrollable urge! You know all the answers but no one asks the questions. You need glasses to look for your glasses. You turn out the lights in the bedroom for economy instead of romance.

You sit on a rocking chair but can’t make it rock. Your knees buckle but your belt won’t. Your house is too big but your medicine cabinet isn’t big enough. You sink your teeth in a steak and they stay there.

Your birthday cake collapses under the weight of the candles. You long to be young again but can’t remember why. The dog gets the lead and takes you out for a walk. Viagra only works on your shirt collars.

That’s what growing old is all about

Mr E Williams, Preston