The dulcet tones of Craig Revel Horwood are resounding around the dance floor. So Strictly Come Dancing is back, so here we go again. You would have to be living on Mars not to know that the programme has started.
7.8 million people watched the show last week with British viewers up and down the country glued to their seats. The dogs are fed, the bar is open and telephones are switched off as we settle into our chairs.
Oh the drama of it all. We armchair critics quibble over the dances and the all important scores which make all the evenings a lot of fun.
The show is on a Saturday and Sunday with titbits shown every night. The judges are composed of Craig Revel Horwood the nasty one, Darcy Bussell the beautiful one, good old Len who always has something nice to say and Bruno Tonioli, a veritable whirling dervish with arm actions so wide and wonderful he nearly knocked Len out of his chair last year!
Oh how we miss Brucie with all his terrible jokes and tap dancing. Finding a replacement was always going to be hard as he was a hard act to follow. I personally thought that Anton du Beke would have been a great choice. Obviously the makers of the programme did not agree.
So Tessa Daley and Claudia Winkleman took over the reins. Does Tess have to wring her hands while trying to read the auto cue? Claudia has made the newspapers when that she has cut her fringe! And all those funny hats. Are the directors realising that they had made a mistake? Any which way we are stuck with them.
The Curse of Strictly hangs over the head of the professional dancers. Each year some of them have affairs and have broken marriages which are duly plastered over the newspapers. The bitching and rivalry back stage reached new heights with one of the professionals dancers threatening to sue the other!
Well it’s a hotbed of emotions with all the women’s dresses being shorter and shorter and covered in more sequins and glitter each week with contestants sporting a fake tan. Indeed backstage the dancers quibble about who should be first in the queue for hair and make-up.
The men’s shirts are now in Lycra and are ripped open baring their six packs. Except Anton – with his shirt and tie on even while practising. Well done that chap. He has been paired with Ann Widdicome and Judy Murray and been very heroic.
He guided them around the floor with a smile glued in place. I can’t remember which of them one of them he said that he thought she should spend her time in the air rather on the floor!
It is here that I must reveal that while rummaging in my sewing box I found a bronze medal for ballroom dancing.
I turned it over and there was my name engraved on it! For the Waltz no less. I can hear Len saying “well flipper my giblets” or some other of his wonderful sayings.
A bronze does it get better than that? Alright it could have been gold but no matter – actually I can’t remember the competition at all.
It is all my Mother’s fault; you see she was convinced that she had given birth to a budding ballerina. I did take ballet classes but the teacher decided that I was going to be too tall thereby shattering Mother’s dreams.
However she had the bit between her teeth and so I found myself signed up for Scottish dancing. Quite why I don’t know but I did enjoy it and in later life and dancing the reels fuelled by whisky was my idea of wonderful fun.
As was tap dancing. I spent hours practising to be Ginger Rodgers. Sadly my dancing career did not take off, which is why I shall be glued to my seat on Saturday, glass of wine in one hand and bronze medal in the other!
But back to Strictly, as a seasoned ballroom dancer I shall be paying great attention when the contestants dance the waltz.
However to my horror I read in the newspaper that the BBC is battling to save Strictly Come Dancing from the latest cut. The Beeb invented the programme which has been a global success so they cannot ignore the numbers of British viewers who watch every week.
I rather think that Strictly fans will not accept that the programme is to taken be off the telly. Even serious couch potatoes will be stirred into action because if this happens it will be a disaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaster darlings.
by Jane Buckle
