We all need good neighbours - especially the elderly
By Jayne Warren - 09/04/2009
Most Mature Times readers have weathered a few economic storms over the decades, and although todays troubles may have changed along with the fashions, there is one thing we all need when times get hard - good neighbours.
The 1950s post-war years were especially difficult times, but from them emerged one exceptional man who took it upon himself to extend the hand of good neighbourliness to the old and lonely. Richard Carr-Gomm, who died in October 2008, gave up his career in the Army to found a series of societies providing care and accommodation for lonely people - of which the largest and best known is the Abbeyfield Society.
Richard Carr-Gomm OBE was born in 1922 in Warwickshire. His grandfather was Francis Carr-Gomm, the famous benefactor of John Merrick, whom Victorian England labelled The Elephant Man. One of four brothers, Richard’s life was to prove that he shared his grandfather’s instinct to reach out to isolated people and defy prevailing societal codes.
When war was declared, Richard enlisted with the Young Soldiers Battalion of the Royal Berkshire Regiment before he was even 18, and in 1941 he joined the Coldstream Guards. But in 1944 the realities of war hit home. His tank was blown up in Normandy, yet he recovered from his wounds, including lacerations to his face, and returned to the front for the Rhine crossing early in 1945. He was awarded the Croix de Guerre (Silver Cross) by the French in recognition of his valour.
In April of 1945, while his troop still faced opposition, Richard began to notice prisoners of all nationalities on the road, some of them thin and starving, wearing light, striped prison clothes - they had finally escaped Belsen. He and his colleagues were among the first to see the hell on earth that had been created there.
Richard was finally posted home in 1953 – and told he could "make his own way there". He took the slow route by train through Italy and France, living on scraps, and observed in Turin a community run by an order of Christian sisters where 8,000 people with difficulties of varying kinds lived together. It made him wonder about the difficulties the lonely and isolated people in his own country might be facing.
When he got home he wrote: “I saw loneliness principally among the single and elderly. World War 2 had not long finished and all efforts to revive the nation seemed to concentrate on the younger generations. The single and the old were left out and were lonely. The answer, I felt, was neighbours”.
In 1955 he decided to spend some time in Bermondsey, and caused bafflement by trying to become a home help. His sex and status were against him and he failed to get a paid job. He found a way round it by offering his services free of charge.
The story of “the Scrubbing Major” soon attracted press attention, which was, in general, a help to the eventual founding of Abbeyfield in 1956 by Richard with a group of friends who could see what he was trying to do and worked hard to make it happen.
The very first Abbeyfield house was at 50 Eugenia Road. It cost £450 and was in poor condition - but it was the acorn from which Abbeyfield gained later momentum. The movement now has more than 700 houses across the UK and houses in 15 countries overseas.
Recognising that people of all ages experienced loneliness and isolation, Richard went on to found Carr-Gomm, a national charity which is still based in Southwark, and several other charities as well. Carr-Gomm now helps over 4000 vulnerable people each year, providing them with support, care and housing to live as valued members of their local communities.
Richard's service of thanksgiving takes place on 29th April 2009 at Southwark Cathedral. He was a fantastic example of a good neighbour in hard times leaving a terrific legacy of care and support for the vulnerable. Does such good neighbourliness in hard times exist today?
To find out more visit the websites below.