Breaking Taboos - talking about funerals
17/10/2006
How many people in this country know what to do when a relative or friend dies? And how many pre-plan a funeral, know how to organise one or even understand how much it is likely to cost?
The answer to these questions is - very few. It’s hard enough to struggle with the pain and bewilderment of bereavement without having to try to think coherently about such questions as the sort of funeral your dead relative or friend would have wanted.
But thanks to the pioneering work of Jane Morrell and Simon Smith, help is at hand. Their book, ‘We Need To Talk About The Funeral – 101 Ways To Commemorate And Celebrate A Life’, with a foreword by Claire Rayner OBE, tells you everything you need to know.
Jane and Simon are ‘independent funeral advisers and conductors’, and founders of the Association Of Independent Funeral Advisers. “The book is entirely based on our own experience and work with clients” says Simon, who planned his own wife’s funeral when she died aged 42.
According to an Office Of Fair Trading report in 2001, 92% of people end up using the first funeral director they contact. Considering most funerals cost between £2000 and £3000 it is unusual to make such a large purchase without comparing prices. As Simon puts it: “If you have the right information you can identify and get exactly what you want. Unique funerals often don’t cost more than conventional ones, because you are not paying for things you don’t want.”
‘We Need To Talk About The Funeral’ reveals the wide range of choices available when planning a funeral; village halls, pubs, boats, at home, woodland burials, even burials on private land, on transport by horse and cart, the family car and processing on foot. People are usually surprised to discover that it is possible to make the funeral arrangements themselves and they do not even have to involve a member of the clergy.
Says Jane: “Death is so rarely discussed that most people feel completely overwhelmed when it happens. People really do need to talk about the funeral. The message in the book is that you can have just about whatever type of funeral you like and honour life and death in your own way.’
For more details visit www.funeraladvisers.org.uk or www.greenfuse.co.uk