Keeping the family circle together
07/08/2008
When we think of the family circle we think of united families who love and support each other, helping to raise children within that loving circle. When family breakdown arises – through separation, divorce or a family feud – the family circle is broken and this leads to divisions between parents, grandparents and the wider family. The effects on the children are obvious: very many children who are victims of family breakdown, are forced to choose between parents, grandparents and family members, leading children into the instability of broken families.
Who do they turn to for comfort and understanding unable to have contact with a parent, grandparents or family members? It is no wonder that they turn to anti social behaviour in the hope they will get some attention.
Parents have the responsibility for their children, and in families with good relationships the support for parents from grandparents is there to benefit the children. When the circle is broken the children are the biggest casualties from these situations. So parents resort to the Family Courts to sort things out. Unfortunately the Family Courts are not very productive in our current system of family law: the secrecy with which they operate is totally flawed, the whole system is dysfunctional and the need for change is long overdue.
When a case is brought into the Family Court it should be open to family members on both sides of the family - they should be consulted if the need arises, while the welfare agencies Cafcass & Social Services should be uniting parents and promoting the importance of grandparents and the wider family to support the children. Sadly they often make things worse by the way they handle the welfare reports. False allegations go unchallenged and this is often the core element and the basis for the hostility that often arises. It should be made clear that anyone making false allegations is perjuring them self and should answer to a jury.
We seem to be in a situation which does not act in the best interest of the child: it is the child’s right to know their family. There should be a presumption that contact will be given fairly and equally to parents and children must be allowed to continue seeing their grandparents and family members as they wish - providing there is no cause to the contrary. Leave to apply should be replaced to allow grandparents a better system in law for contact. The government should act now before this situation goes from worse to much worse.
If there were specialist judges for the Family Court, not circuit judges, people would get the same judge throughout their case. Judges must also take on board the importance of a child’s well being, and the role of the parents, grandparents and family members. Children have most probably formed loving bonds - especially with grandparents - and it is very wrong to force children to break those loving bonds.
We all have a responsibility to our children and to their future, which is very bleak at present. Welfare agencies should be the glue to uniting children, parents and families, reports should be completely impartial and children’s wishes should be paramount. Children should not be spoken to with a parent /parents or anyone applying for contact present this would help children to be honest about their wishes - it is a vulnerable time for children.
Parental Alienation damages children - sometimes irrevocably - and should be recognised by the Government and eradicted from our society.
Pamela Wilson, Chairwoman,
Grandparents Action Group UK