Your potty, phonetic alphabets!
By Jayne Warren - 20/05/2008
Last month we asked readers to write in with their suggestions for a new phonetic alphabet, and have been delighted at the responses - many of which had a distinct 'physical ailments' theme!
Here are a selection of some of the best drawn from the entries from Colin Rainton, Wendy Ford, H. Glenister and Iain Thomson:
A for Arthritis
B for Bus pass
C for Sickness
D for Dependable
E for Essence
F for Forgetful
G for Gout
H for Hobble
I for an Eye
J for Jovial
K for Knitting
L for Loopy
M for Mischievous
N for Cement
O for, Oldie
P for Piles
Q for Quality
R for Rheumatism
S for bend
T for Totter
U for Underappreciated
V for Same To You Mate (out of car window)
W for Wobbly
X for Xtra
Y for Young-at-heart
Z for Zimmer
Arnold Greenwood sent in a section from a phonetic alphabet which some readers may recall, adding "You've got to be a real oldie to recognise 'K fer Ransis'. I fell in love with her as a lad of 15 or so when I first saw her at the pictures donkey's years ago ...”:
A for Horses, C for looking, I forgot, K fer Ransis, L for leather, M for sis (emphasis), O for the wings of a dove, R fer mo, T for two, and W fortune.
Mr WJ Garrard wrote: "As a former Royal Navy Seaman during the 1940 and 50, I suggest could do no better than to revert to the phonetic alphabet - with a few exceptions - used during WW2 until the 1960s and 70s, when it became "Americanised". After all these years I am still unable to remember or repeat the current phonetic alphabet, but automatically revert to the original naval version - much to the delight and total understanding of those I speak to on the telephone! The only changes I would make would be T for Tare to become T for Tommy, and Y for Yoke to be Y for Yellow…
A Able, B Baker, C Charlie, D Dog, E Easy, F Fox, G George, H How, I Item, J Jig, K King, L Love, M Mike, N Nan, O Oboe, P Peter, Q Queen, R Roger, S Sugar, T Tare, U Uncle, V Victor, W William, X X-Ray, Y Yoke, and Z Zebra.
Mrs B Spender from Kent remembered part of a phonetic alphabet possibly from the 1940 and 50s, adding, "Wonderful things, memories, aren't they? Does anyone also recall the books 'A Little Yellow Stream" and "The Light's Gone Out"?:
A for 'orses, B for mutton, C for ships, D for dental, E for essence, I for Novello, J for oranges, L for leather, M for sis, O for the garden wall, P for relief, Q for bananas, R a mo, T for two, U for me, Y for goodness sake, and Z for breezes.
One wonderful poetic entry came from Mrs J. Nixon in Bexley Heath, as a tribute to Pam Ayres:
A Anno Domini - and that's a fact, B is for back ache- tight and compact.
C is for crises (I've had quite a few), D is for dentures, all sparkling and new.
E is for energy - lacking I fear, F is for frolic when I'm in top gear.
G is for grit to get out and about, H is for hearing - you'll just have to SHOUT!
I is for independent - well that's my belief, J is for jargon - it must be the teeth!
K is for kinship we share for a while, L is for laughter - we all need to smile,
M for mature (or is it just old?), N for notorious at feeling the cold.
O is for option - an old people's home?, P perseverance to go it alone.
Q all the questions, departments and form, R my reflexes are not quite the norm.
S is for Someone - I'm not just a number, T is for tightness - especially me lumbar!
U for umbrella I left at the station, V is for vertigo on my vacation.
W is for worn-out, weary and wan, X explanation ... I got it all wrong!
Y is for youth, now no longer my 'aide'
Z is for zeal - unabated, though staid...
Our thanks to all who wrote in – keep them coming!