'Pigeon Religion' by John C Bird

09/01/2008

Having read with interest your piece on the pensioners of Ryhope defending their pigeon loft, I wondered if my poem below might be of interest to them and MT readers?

Let you and I start a new religion
That sanctifies the carrier pigeon.
Their lofts would be designated shrines,
Fanciers would be the new divines,
Spreading our message far and wide
From West Bengal to East Kilbride.
 
We’d welcome folk whatever their phobes,
Monks with odd habits or flashy robes,
Non-conformists, Unorthodox Jews,
Confused Confucians, dissident Druze,
Dizzy Dervishes, fire-eating Fakirs,
Folk who’ve not been to church in years.
 
Shi’ites with sunny dispositions
Warmly embracing rival traditions,
Roisterous Rastas, mild-mannered Moonies,
Peace campaigners portrayed as loonies,
Doomsters proclaiming the end is nigh,
As pigeonists they would all qualify.
 
Preachers in pidgin English and Hindi,
Untouchables from Rawalpindi,
Those who’ve committed a cardinal sin,
Adherents of Mao and Ho Chi Minh,
Defrocked deacons, vicars who’ve strayed,
We’d gladly have them in our crusade.
 
For those who show reverence for the cow
We wouldn’t claim to be holier than thou,
And wish luck to those who venerate rats,
Elephants, monkeys, scarab beetles or cats.
They’re all God’s creatures, great and small,
Whether they moo or coo or caterwaul.
 
Pigeonism would have a simple creed,
To be tolerant in word and deed,
We’d try to live by the golden rule,
Assert that righteousness can be cool,
Follow the path of peace and love
(After all a pigeon’s also a dove).
 
We’d hail the good in every religion,
Not just the one that hallowed the pigeon,
Acknowledge the gods that other revere,
Accepting their beliefs to be sincere.
In return we’d hope they wouldn’t be piqued
By pigeonists’ tongues being firmly cheeked.