Looking Back

08/05/2007

Would I like to be one of the young people of today? I don’t think so. I can’t help wondering where they are going. What do they have to look forward to in a switch on, push button, instant fun and drama environment? Too much too soon and too easily - but at what cost?

The values of  today are far removed from those of my childhood, which was spent at home with an older brother Jack and an older sister Margaret.  We had little money but plenty of love and warmth to make a happy family atmosphere. In my early childhood families were much closer, with a mother who listened to tales of woe, a falling out with best friends or perhaps not doing well at school. And there was a granny on hand to console. Sometimes it was easier to talk to her.

Sadly my father died in November on Bonfire Night, so we never enjoyed fireworks and my sister was born in February.  How sad a time that must have been for my mother.  You can imagine missing out on a father’s guidance when at school.  I used to hear “my father said” or “my father did” from fortunate classmates. Our first school, a church school, was close by. We were seen on our way by my mother, always walking, and my brother - not wanting to be seen with girls - walked behind at a close distance. Home for dinner then another walk back for the afternoon.

Danger of any sort never entered our heads as we did not think of anything to be afraid of. Yes we were lucky but sadly did not realise it at the time. Playing out with friends, whip and top, skipping. Ticky chase could go on for a long time and when we were told to be in at a certain time, we were. No questions asked as disobedience meant we could not go out another time.

For some reason and I don’t know why my thoughts go to Good Friday.  No shops were open then as all shopping had been done in readiness for the holiday break. There was fish for dinner on Good Friday for as long as I can remember.  As on Sunday we did not play out but went walking all together, perhaps a church service or a visit to grandparents or friends.

“Find something to do!!” I can hear it now. Sew, knit, read a book, dress your dolls. Dressing up was a good way to escape into a make believe world, and we had scrap books with large blank pages in which were put all sorts of pretty little cards, transfers and Christmas cards with angels.

There were few motor cars when we were small. Not like today when it seems most families have one or sometimes two cars. But my Grandpa had a car -  a small grey Austin - and sometimes as a great treat we all piled in. There was my mother, my sister, my brother and me.  We were taken for a ride, all on our best behaviour and not chattering. We didn't go far but I remember we used to wave to everybody because we were in a car and they were walking.

Looking back, and I can’t help doing, there were so many innocent and inexpensive ways to keep us amused and so enjoy life. None of us were allowed to be bored and were not.  Sadly we hear this word all too often nowadays, despite the seemingly top priority gadgets that children do not seem to be able to live without. It makes me think they must be missing out on so much in life. But do they know? Or how can they know, when young parents give their children so much that they perhaps did not have when young.  The danger being the more they get the more they want.

One thing worth mentioning is that there was never any stress at school or reluctance to attend. It was a happy place where you met friends and kept friends. There were no uniforms in the junior schools, but always polished shoes and for the girls clean white socks.  And always so much to talk about.  We skipped, played ball, rounders, marbles and whip and top. Such simple games but so enjoyable.
Where are these games nowadays?

Any outings when there was no school, were planned. A bus or train ride took us to a park away from our neighbourhood, and what a thrill it was to have a train ride on a real train with smoke puffing out of the funnel and lots of black soot if you should open the window.

From our house we used to watch the trains whizzing by. There was the ten-to-ten train to London every morning - and always on time. The driver got a wave from us.  Would we ever be on that train? The train we took was an adventure to the seaside when we took sandwiches and a bottle of pop. No cafes then but perhaps an ice cream.

There were three of us but if we were lucky we had a donkey ride - but not every time.  The sea always looked so cold, and the sand I remember went on for miles, so plenty of castles were built.  We had little paper flags to put on top.

Time to go home but what a lovely day and so much fun.  When it came to birthdays and Christmas presents parents made great sacrifices to put a smile on our faces and whatever we were given we cherished them. Unfortunately now expensive presents are soon either forgotten or broken so not treasured at all. It used to take a long time to save up for something and we appreciated them all the more.

With so many things now either electric or battery operated,   I wickedly think as I go round the supermarkets what would happen if the batteries expired or worse still there was a power cut.  How many till operators would be able to add up or do mental arithmetic?  Perhaps the store would have to close.  Back to basic values.

The young people of today are the parents of tomorrow. What else can  they possibly give their children when the time comes?

Unfortunately it seems too easy to get hold of drugs without fully realising the danger of taking them. Drugs as we have seen on TV and much publicised in everyday news are so damaging when the results so often heartbreaking. Can it be that there is nobody at home to talk to, to listen to any problem perhaps at school or in a relationship that is not going well.  Is it our fault?  Have we failed to realise that life today is geared towards young people without stressing the values or morals and standards of growing up?

It seems the more they get the more they want - if only to keep up with their friends. A bike, skates, roller blades, computer, calculator, TV games and even TV in their bedroom along with all the latest gadgets. Perhaps TV and computer games should be monitored and not on all the time.  

When it comes to all the activities that involve growing up such as riding, football, dancing, youth clubs even going to and returning from school where safety is paramount in parents’ minds, it's always the car. Could this be modified a little so reminding children what their feet  are for:  walking. Yes, I know it is a different and often wicked world we live in today and it is so sad.

How some children would laugh to be told they must save up for something! In my childhood, if you didn’t have the money you had to do without.

A good idea, if it would work, is that parents and children should set aside some part of the day, perhaps over a weekend, when all machines and gadgets are switched off, and everyone sits down and talks.  Time to share thoughts and views.  In time, these young people will leave home, perhaps move far away looking for something, and not always finding their dreams - by which time it may be too late. They may end up in trouble.  

Growing up we all moved on to a secondary school which meant new friends, and different work like Algebra, Physics, Chemistry, Domestic Science and needlework. Four very happy years.  But we did not know at the time that a war was on the way, meaning so many friends we had known went away. Sadly some never returned. But I am sure that the grounding we three children had in those early days made us more able to face most things that life could throw at us.

As I said at the beginning things are very different now and I am happy to have experienced a more stable type of life.