Grandparents meet up for support in Solihull

06/02/2007

A monthly support group for grandparents in Solihull is holding its next meeting on March 1st. It is a friendly, informal group where everyone is invited to share concerns, stories, ideas and advice. The idea for the group came about as a result of the many difficulties grandparents were facing, whether it was estrangement, full-time “parenting”, exhaustion - or people just needing someone understanding to talk to.

Here is one grandmother's story:

"My husband and I have five children between us, of which only the youngest is married. We were so thrilled when we heard that he and his wife were expecting twins and I did everything I could to help my daughter in law throughout the last month of her pregnancy. However, once the babies arrived, that was that, I was not needed or wanted and was not allowed to go near the children, nor to touch them.

"No doubt my daughter in law had her reasons for behaving in this way, although I fail to see what her reasons were. Through various means my husband and I have tried to speak to my daughter in law, however, we feel very unwanted and I have now decided that I cannot break my heart over this. The children are now five and a half and the last time I saw them was in July at their fifth birthday party. They do not know who I am and of course this breaks my heart.  My daughter in law has “divorced” herself from my family and only accepts her own family.

"I cried for a year, but now I have taken a teaching course and find great reward in teaching English at the Local College. My students respect me and I have made a new life for myself. I have moved on, however, nothing will ever take away the heartbreak of having two wonderful grandchildren who I have never held, hugged or kissed. I have missed their development, their first smile, their first tooth, their first step - everything.

"I can only hope that as they grow up, they will ask their father... “where is your Mother”?  Why don't we see her, where does she live and so on..."

Many who come to the support group have a similar story to tell - and often much worse. Many grandparents feel they cannot talk to their friends or families about their situation - but find that in a group, it's much easier. And talking and sharing can make a huge difference.

All are welcome to join in, whether you wish to speak or just listen. The meeting will be on Thursday, March 1st from 2.00 p.m.-3.00 p.m.at Solihull Methodist Church Hall, Station Approach, Off Blossomfield Road, Solihull, B91 1LG.

For further information please contact Linda Nunn, Grandparents’ Association on 01279 428040.