We know from reports that the divorce rate among the over-60s has increased significantly recently compared to all the other age groups

There are diverse reasons why marriages come to an end later in life: the children have grown up and flown the nest, and loneliness looms if the marriage has become unhappy.

The benefits of better health at this time of life as well as newly enjoyed longevity mean that we may find ourselves faced with another 20-odd years in front of us. We may have also experienced bereavement. Many will have nurtured dreams of taking up a hobby, travelling, starting a new career, even. And possibly, also, since our own lives have become central to us again, finding happiness in a new relationship.

World-wide phenomenon

Dating in later life has consequently become a world-wide phenomenon, and with the help of technological advances, it can all be so much easier to meet a new partner: it is no longer the privilege of the younger generation.

But how do you begin? Finding a new companion to share your life with may be a daunting prospect for some of us, who may not have dated since their teens. When I spoke to Helene Pascal, author of ‘TWO’S COMPANY Love Again, a Woman’s Journey’, she said: “We are all living longer and have more energy and choice than our parents and grandparents, so we are up for loving again. Love is a fundamental need for all of us: loving is a function of life, and a physical and spiritual expression of that need.”

Encounters

Helene’s book chronicles her adventures when dating again in her sixties, which took some courage and strength of character. It is a gripping, touching and warm account of her experiences and her quest to find a new life partner. It is also often very funny, and we may laugh with her through some misadventures. How did she embark on this quest?

Helene replied to ‘soulmates’ and ‘encounters’ advertisements in newspapers mostly, as well as looking on the internet, driven by her desire, she writes, to “select a worthy lover of my feistiness, a friend indulgent of my presumptions, a willing escort in my ventures, a knowledgeable field guide to the new terrain, a kind teacher of his own experiences.”

“There are unreliable as well as good people whatever channel you choose”, she explains. “It’s important to be as honest as you can in describing yourselves. Remember also that people’s expectations are all different, and that refusal doesn’t mean rejection.”

Helene’s tips for dating later in life

• Browse the sites and familiarise yourselves with the new format and language (it’s interesting and fun!) Take your time, chat online if you like, the tone of the conversation will guide you: after all, you weren’t born yesterday!

• When you do date, meet at a café or any neutral place, and treat it like a meeting with a new friend, and remember the other person is also shy on that occasion. But don’t tell yourself you are going to meet the partner of your life on the first date!

• Relax and think you are going to have a pleasant hour or so in company and conversation: the ultimate tool for reaching out to new partners. If love happens, it happens more by accident than by design.

• Don’t look desperate to make an impression. Be yourself. Make it friendly and informal. Find points of common interest: people, films, music, books, etc. Enjoy the experience.

• Finally, it is important to be kind, a currency that we all can share: we are at that time all in a vulnerable position. If you decide you do not want to meet again, have a few phrases ready, by which you wouldn’t be hurt yourself. Remember refusal doesn’t mean rejection.

“We are not all going to be little grannies knitting in front of the television when we get older: we are still very much a part of life and want to carry on living – and loving. Love is a profound and fundamental human need, and we can enjoy it whatever age we are. It makes us rich.” Concludes Helene.

To obtain your copy of ‘TWO’S COMPANY Love Again: a Woman’s Journey’ by Helene Pascal (Tivoli Books £9.99) visit: www.helenepascal.co.uk. Also available from Amazon and all bookshops.